23 Reasons to Stay Away from Kentucky

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Although some people truly believe Kentucky is an “amazing” place to visit. Here are 23 reasons we think you should stay away (if you can). We may or may not think that all of these are actually insanely awesome, but probably not.

#1 The Only Thing to Drink is Bourbon

Makers Mark

Don Sniegowski, Maker’s Mark Lodge, Flikr

Kentucky is known as Bourbon Country. The Bourbon Trail gives you a bunch of history of how the spirit is made, along with tasting after tasting. If you visit all six distilleries you get a free gift. Totally not worth the buzz to get something for free…

#2 There Are No Cool Sites to See 

Mega Cavern

H. Michael Miley, Louisville Mega Cavern, Flikr 

Mega Cavern (a giant cave) where you can zip line to your death (not really) is turned into an underground holiday light festival every November. You have to drive your own car through the cavern to see the lights.. Why would they make something so convenient?

#3 Seriously Not a Lot to See Here…

Horse Farm In Kentucky

Credit David Ohmer – Flickr

Everyone is obsessed with horses, especially in Lexington, Ky. There are a million farms where you can pay to ride horses. Or just look at them. Such a strange place with beautifully graceful creatures.

 

#4 If You Like the Outdoors, You Might Be Hard-Pressed to Find Anything to Do…

Red River Gorge

Photo Credit to Anthony – Flickr

Kentucky has a canyon. If it’s not the Grand Canyon what’s the point. I mean waterfalls, rock shelters, natural bridges, sandstone cliffs, rock climbing and apparently breathtaking sites all encompass the attraction. If that’s what you’re into, I guess go for it.

#5 Not Sure What You Can Spend Your Time Doing In Kentucky…

Cumberland Falls

Credit Stevie Kenyon – Flickr

Definitely not a lot to see outside, can you say EYESORE

#6 The Food Scene Is Lame

Hot Brown

Jeremy Brooks, Kentucky, Flikr

A sandwich was created at one of Kentucky’s hotels, The Brown. Hence, the name of the dish – hot brown. It’s an open-faced sandwich with turkey, bacon, Mornay sauce, and sometimes ham and tomatoes. The entire Hot Brown is baked or broiled. It looks like SpongeBob SquarePants melted, but it’s supposedly delicious. Overall the food scene is pretty lame

 

#7 The “Fastest” 2 Minutes In Sports – So Fast It’s Celebrated for Weeks…

Kentucky Derby

Dannerbrog, Churchill Downs, Flikr

Again more horses and bourbon. Yes, Kentucky combined the two things it’s already obsessed with and turned it into a season. They don’t just have Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter, but also Derby. They even have pie named after it and a drink you’re supposed to have while at the event – a mint julep. Yuck! Oh, and for some reason everyone wears hats.

#8 The People Don’t Wear Shoes

Red River Gorge Rock Climbing

Photo Credit Kurt Thomas – Flickr

 

#9 … and They Spend ALL Their Time Tending to the Farm

Chow Wagon

Credit Jason Meredith – Flickr

#10 Not Much of A State for Sports Fans…

Louisville Slugger Museum

Photo Credit to jpellgen – Flickr

All the history you could want to know about baseball lies in this museum. You can even hold bats that were used by star players like Derek Jeter. You receive a mini bat at the end that can be personalized with your name. That all sounds good if you like mini things, we guess.

#11 There are No Professional Sports Teams…

Louisville Basketball Rivalry

Photo Credit Tim Haag – Flickr

If you’re into sports, Kentucky probably isn’t the place for you, they don’t really take their sports seriously, there’s not even a pro sports team in the commonwealth! The college rivalry is ok.

#12 Kentucky Down Under

Kentucky Down Under

Don Sniegowski, Kentucky Down Under Adventure Park, Flikr

Australia has migrated to Louisville. Kangaroos, bison, and pythons oh my! That sounds scary enough to stay away to us. Some people say it’s a once in a lifetime adventure since they’ll never actually be able to go to Australia. If you call that a reason!

 

#13 Every Year A Zombie Apocalypse Breaks Out…

Louisville Zombie Walk

Rev Walk, Flikr

A zombie walk invades the Highlands of Louisville each August. Around 40,000 people dress up as zombies and march the streets. I guess this is normal if you like being covered in fake blood acting like your dead.

#14 … and the apocalypse has nothing to do with the Haunted Waverly Hills Sanatorium

Waverly Hills

Kentucky National Guard, Waverly Hills Sanatorium, Louisville, KY, Flikr

You can tour an old haunted Tuberculosis hospital, but who would want to do that? Especially around Halloween? You can stay the night, too and have the thrill of a lifetime. WHY?

#15 The Louisville Palace

Louisville Palace

Photo Credit Mike Appel – Flickr

The Louisville Palace is a super old theater that hosts concerts and events in downtown Louisville, KY. The inside looks like a night sky with stars. So if you like feeling like you’re outside, while you’re inside, go for it, but we don’t see the point.

#16 There’s Not Much Going On In Kentucky

Picture this. Hundreds upon hundreds of jack-o-lanterns staring at you as you walk past them in a dark forest. Who knew staring at edible artwork would be so popular. I mean you can’t even eat them!

#17 Events and Festivals Are Hard to Come By…

Forecastle

Stacey Kizer, Forecastle, Flikr

If you’re picturing a music festival, then you’re right. So many sweaty people, but I guess some people love hearing artists they look up to all their lives.

#18  Seriously, There’s Nothing to Do In Kentucky…

Thunder Over Louisville

Photo Credit to Louisville Images on Flickr

Some people enjoy fireworks. Some people enjoy airplanes. Put them together and you have the loudest event possible at the waterfront. I guess the beautiful view could maybe outweigh the noise.

#19 Nothing to Do…

Flying Axes

Mr Bootle, Flikr

As if Kentucky wasn’t dangerous enough, they now have a bar where you can drink alcohol and throw axes. I guess you could have fun if danger and adventure excite you.

#20 Everything You Try to Do is Free…

21c Hotel

Photo Credit to Sali Sasaki Flickr

An art museum plus a hotel, interesting. Even if you decide not to stay the night at the 21C Hotel, the museum is free and open to the public. Red penguins line all the entrances and are said to be scattered throughout the venue, if you’re into weird free stuff.

#21 …Everything is So Free…

Big Four Bridge Louisville

Don Sniegowski, Louisville, KY, Flikr

If you didn’t get enough light exposure at Thunder Over Louisville, a walking bridge that lights up at night exists as a connection between Indiana and Kentucky. SO MANY LIGHTS!

#22 Another Free Thing? What Do Kentuckians Do With Their Money?

Louisville Trolley Hop

Louisville Images, Louisville, KY, Flikr

Why does Louisville offer so many free things? I mean some people want to pay for stuff. But no, instead Kentucky offers a free trolley hop the first Friday of every month where you can taste wine and look at artwork. Come on!

#23 AH! Bourbon, That’s What We Do With Our Money!

Bourbon Barrels

Credit Chris Nelson – Flickr

Did we mention theres a lot of bourbon in Kentucky! Every mile you drive theres another distillery… Makers Mark, Buffalo Trace, Woodford Reserve, Jim Beam, Four Roses, Angels Envy, all the best bourbon… Maybe our home state isn’t so bad after all…

 

We only have two words to say: Stay Away! (from the fun, exciting, adventurous, once in a lifetime, delicious, and free attractions in Kentucky)

What Did We Miss? Comment Below With Other Reasons to Stay Away

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